April 20, 2010

EARTH DAY - 40 years

Earth Day is special to me in so many ways.
I was 2 years old when they had the first Earth Day. However, Earth Day was 8 years in the making.
Check out Earth Day History

My son was 4 days old for his first outing which happened to be Earth Day. The Department of Forestry was giving away little tree starts that where just two branches and a top. We got one, a Spruce tree. It was only about 8 inches high. We put it into a 5 gallon bucket and it lived in that for about 2 years while we tried to figure out where to put it.

Now, 20 years later the tree sits in the front of the house and is over 30 feet tall.

I grew up in an Earth caring family. My father was a Entomologist who specialized in Butterflies of Central and South America.
When I was 12 he started an organization that had a goal of setting up a preservation and research facility in the Amazon Jungle in Ecuador. He was able to purchase parts of the Jungle from the Ecuadorian government.
My father knew back then. From what he had seen in his travels, he knew that the environment and all life upon this planet was in danger.

My father died in 1991 and his organization fell apart. A very sad thing for me.

What happened on Earth Day following his death, I will never forget.

The relationship between my father and I was not the greatest. He harbored a lot of pain, confusion and anger. Which was quite unfortunate for I had more in common with my father than my mother when it came to personal interests. I was very nature and science oriented, unlike my mother who liked the 'girl' things like dolls and the preforming arts.

It was Earth Day and I went out to sit with the boys outside next to my son's Spruce tree that was now about 6 feet tall. It was a beautiful late morning, the air was warmer that usual. I put the baby in the shade of the tree and his big brother was off to play with his new toys about the yard.
I again thought about my father. I thought about how even though he had wronged me that I still love him. He was my dad! As a child, I adored him, as a teen I struggled to understand him, as an adult I learned to forgive him.
I realized that I had always forgiven him.

Something across the meadow caught my attention. At the top of the ravine at the end of the meadow about 300 yards away, where two bucks. They where just standing there looking at me. I felt the magic in the air, something from the Universe or my father I cannot be sure. Nevertheless, I thought it very appropriate for the moment since my father was a Gemini, the Twins, and that there where two bucks, male deer, and that Deer is one of my Totem Animals and Deer represents gentleness.

They stood there for a while, sometimes looking in other directions, but mostly focused on me. When they began to walk down the hill. That is when something to the left, along the tree line at the top of the meadow,  was moving.

From within the tall Fir trees moths where 'falling'. These moths had emerged from their cocoons earlier in the morning. They had hung in the trees until their wings unfolded, the warmth that covered the trees stimulated the moths, ready for flight they began to drop from the trees.
The magic continued.

The moths rained down by the hundreds all along the tree line, when they where about to fall into the brush below they took flight and floated up and fluttered in the direction that the bucks had appeared.
This went on for quite a while until the moths falling where just a random trickle now and then.

That was more of a profound moment than the deer. The deer was just a warm up for what was to come.
I had been thinking about was my father and there was the Gemini connection to the two deer and deer my totem.
But the moths!!!
The moth has often been associated with death, rebirth and transformation.
Many people have a 'moth (or butterfly) at a funeral' story and they know it is a message.
The Death card in Tarot also shows a moth.
I knew that this was about my dad, if not influenced by my dad because my dad was an entomologist. He studied things like moths and butterflies and ants.
He even discovered a butterfly.
His work was very ‘Earth Day’ oriented, for him every day was Earth Day. He was the founder of a non-profit organization for the sake of science and nature, flora and fauna and the preservation and study thereof.

It was the first time I felt a positive connection with my father.
Where he was in Spirit in that moment, he knew more about me than I knew about me.
While he was still alive, I learned from my mother that he was clairvoyant. 
He never told me about this; it would have been really nice if he had. I would have been able to ask him questions about the things that I was experiencing.
If he did not know then, about just another aspect of how we where alike, he knew now.
He also knew how I was one to see 'the signs', and he knew that I would understand what I had witnessed. He knew I would be able to connect because he knew before I knew that I have a connection to the dead.

As it where, the signs I saw told me. I had focused on my dad and his Spirit responded.
I felt his regrets.
I knew he felt bad for what had happened, I knew that he was sorry.
I knew that he understood my actions towards him as well as appreciated my forgiveness and the love I still held for him and for loving him always even when he had pushed me away.
I could feel his pride in being a grandfather. I knew he was admiring his two grandsons.
And I knew that he loved me.

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